


Captain Daniyah and the Greatest Naval Battle of All Time

by littleaviatrix



Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-05-31 22:49:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6490387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleaviatrix/pseuds/littleaviatrix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Captain Daniyah Sadik has a wonderful ship, a maybe not quite as wonderful crew, and Captain Hearthfire is too good for -- well, any of this, and Dan and Ev have far too much time on their hands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Captain Daniyah and the Greatest Naval Battle of All Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kitkatkimble](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitkatkimble/gifts).



> this atrocity is a birthday present for the most wonderful spanch in the world, kim kitkatkimble, also featuring i-like-yoshi's rikke hearthfire because danev friendfiction inevitably means danikke ehehehe
> 
> this was inspired by a conversation kim and i had about a pirate au following an incident where autocorrect decided to bully me and change "about" to "ahoy," and also the realization that danev would have way too much fun with all of this
> 
> (happy birthday kim !! <33 i'm so so so sorry for all of this. xoxoxxoxoxoxoxo)

Captain Daniyah Sadik is, contrary to popular belief, a rather competent individual.

 

She’ll be the first to admit that, yes, perhaps she doesn’t fit the conventional image of a pirate -- while being a runaway-noble-turned-pirate is a fine thing to be in, say, a ballad, it doesn’t provide her with much in the realm of swashbuckling skills.

 

Which, if she’s honest, is fine by her; swashbuckling is messy and requires swords and grievous injury and guns and clashing of steel and all of the things that Daniyah can’t -- well. Daniyah doesn’t do swashbuckling. She doesn’t need to. She shines in other areas, namely the three fields of Alcohol, People, and Glittering, which do come surprisingly in handy as the captain of the _Flouncy Flamingo._

 

(It’s an ironic name for such a large, heavy-duty vessel, but it’s her ship and she’s a real-life pirate and she’ll do as she pleases.)

 

She’s doing well enough at the whole captain shtick, she thinks. The members of her current crew are all still alive, and their ship hasn’t sunk yet, and they’ve even managed to track down some valuables. They’re a --

 

Daniyah has a lot of adjectives that she could use to describe her crew, but at least half of them sound like words Grandmother Sadik might use while wagging her finger, and the other half are -- and she loves her crew, she truly does, but the other half are too optimistic about their abilities. She loves them dearly. It doesn’t make them, or her, any less useless.

 

Still, even if they’re doing just about every single thing wrong, they must be doing at least _something_ right, because King Wrynn keeps sending his soldiers out on their trail. Which really just means that King Wrynn keeps sending Captain Hearthfire out on Daniyah’s trail. Wwhich really, really just means that Daniyah will gladly keep on causing a general ruckus on the high seas if it means that Rikke is the one she has to deal with.

 

The king’s most skilled captain, with the most extraordinary biceps, chasing a runaway-noble-turned-pirate-captain all around the world -- it sounds like a fantastic premise for a bodice-ripper romance novel, which although a fact that Daniyah appreciates, Captain Hearthfire would not.

 

Pity. She never seems to appreciate anything Daniyah does, but she also never seems to, you know, actually arrest her, either. So even if Daniyah isn’t a very good captain, then Rikke must not be, either. So there.

  


* * *

 

 

“Dani, you can’t use ‘so there’ as an argument, you sound like Scarlett trying to make a point.”

 

Daniyah lifts her chin to look back up at Ev, and wiggles her legs against his lap in protest. Currently, she’s sprawled half across the sofa and half across Ev, who has his journal propped up on her legs as if they were a desk. It’s an ideal fanfiction writing set-up, and actually a safe one, because they’re at her house, not the Everitts’, where a demon or a giant dog might charge them at any time.

 

It’s only a mild exaggeration.

 

She hums, and then pops her lips at him in a lazy pout. It still counts as a pout, though, because she says so, and so there. “Well, yes, but I’m the author, here! You said that I could narrate, and then you would write and put it into fancy-schmancy words for me.”

 

“Yeah, but if I’m the one doing the actual writing, then I’m also technically the editor, too, I think?” Ev attempts a pout in return, but all he really manages is a fishface that sends both him and Daniyah into a fit of giggles. “I’m just saying, we want to make this as convincing as possible, right? Aren’t good writers supposed to -- what’s that thing, show, not tell..? I think so.”

 

“Alright, fine, do your editing thing.” Daniyah gives her best dramatic sigh -- which is, if she’s honest, pretty damn good. She’s spent a whole lifetime perfecting it.

 

(It always makes Rikke’s brows furrow, and then the corner of her mouth twitch when she thinks that Daniyah isn’t looking. Except Daniyah is always looking, and she thinks about it all a bit too often. Except, of course, all she has to think about is Friendly Admiration and Mutual Appreciation. Yes, she’s sure, and so there.)

 

“So, you’re trying to make it -- you’re trying to show that you and Rikke are about equals in the captain sense, right?” Ev taps his pen against the page, brows furrowed in a way that looks far too contemplative for writing shitty pirate fanfiction. He’s even brought out his nicest green pen, the one that shines a bit even after the ink has dried, which she knows he only uses for his official research work, and now apparently for this.

 

See, this is why she likes Ev. He has his priorities straight.

 

“I suppose I could, but then I would be lying, because of course Rikke would be an amazing captain. If we really must get descriptive, then I’d _much_ prefer to be describing Rikke’s biceps, instead. Mmmm.” She draws one foot back to nudge his arm with it, and he laughs, and then wrinkles his nose.

 

“Please don’t make me wax poetic about Rikke’s biceps. You know I’d do -- well, almost anything for you--” He stops to giggle again, when she clasps her hands to her chest in mock offense, and then shakes his head. “--and I appreciate great biceps in literature as much as the next person, really, but I’m not writing all that out.”

 

“But _I’m_ the one who’ll be doing all the waxing, sweet thing, trust me. I’m well prepared. I’ve waited my entire life for the moment where I get to describe Rikke’s biceps in great detail.”

 

“You’ve known Rikke for maybe a year.”

 

“Exactly!” She sits up, just to flop back down, and her hair flounces with her. “Alright, fine, we can save that part for the end. We need a way to get Rikke’s biceps in the story, don’t we? What about that one Steamy Romance Novel, the one where Krall got with the pirate, what did they do?”

 

“Um…” Ev’s brows knit together, and his mouth twists, and he gives Dan a dubious look. “D’you mean the actual parts on the ship where the plot moved forward a bit, or d’you mean everything else?”

 

“If it were the ‘everything else,’ then Rikke would murder first me, and then you, if she knew that you were involved, which I’m certain she will,” Daniyah says, expression as solemn as she can manage. “She’s got a freaky sense for this sort of thing. Of course, it’s admirable, but it’s still terrifying.”

 

Ev nods, just as gravely, and then twirls his pen between his fingers, which are already stained green. “Wait, hold on, how about a naval battle? Between her ship and yours? Maybe her biceps can ripple a bit?”

 

“Ooh, and Zuri’s, and Scarlett’s, but mostly Rikke’s, I think. Alright, right, I think I’ve got an idea now.”

  


* * *

 

 

“Daniyah, we have a situation.”

 

Daniyah looks up, legs still swinging, from her perch on the spot of railing that Elyon always tells her not to perch on. It’s been a quiet morning, so far -- at least, as quiet as their ship can possibly be, which isn’t very quiet. The definition of ‘quiet’ has expanded to include quite a bit of screeching, some squawking, Elyon and Scarlett’s incessant cursing, Ben’s mastiff’s ruckus, and the crashes and small _booms_ of Ev’s failed experiments below deck.

 

Zuri’s expression doesn’t give her any indication of something being wrong, but Zuri’s expression never really gives her any indication of _anything_ , so she lifts her chin up to meet their eyes and tilts her head. “Yes? What is it? Is there a crisis? And by that I mean, are we out of rum?”

 

“No,” they say, and the corner of their mouth twitches in what Daniyah has come to recognize as their way of showing amusement, at least as much as Zuri outwardly can. “I’ll still need you to pay attention, though, even if I may have just lost your interest.”

 

“ _Rude_.”

 

“Still true.” They nod out toward the waves stretching out behind her, and she hops back down to the deck to turn and look at -- oh, yes, that certainly is a ship heading their way. “I’d offer you a spyglass, but I don’t think you need to look to know.”

 

They’re right; even without a spyglass and just with some squinting, she can make out the billow of a flag, too far away to really see but close enough to recognize the shade of blue. “Oh, this is going to be wonderful.”

 

“Either you need to work on your sarcasm, or you need to learn how to have the appropriate reaction to the king’s naval forces coming to try and apprehend you.” They pause to straighten their robes -- enchanted, now, after the last incident where they and Ev got a bit too intense with the fire spells. Although, as Zuri will remind her, their magic still gets the job done, and it’s useful, especially considering that only two of their other crewmembers know how to actually use swords.

 

Well, one and a half. Scarlett does -- something about being a former guard, if Dan is remembering the drunkenly recounted story correctly -- and Elyon does but rarely will. He prefers to take on the role of medic, which he does well with, but the only wounds he usually has to deal with are the ones that they all accidentally inflict upon themselves.

 

He has a shield, ironically enough; it’s horribly out of place, next to the king’s soldiers, or even the rest of the crew, but he knows when to take a hit for somebody else, and he’s kept them from getting thwacked quite -- well, thwacked quite fatally a number of times. Daniyah won’t say it, but she does appreciate it, because somebody’s got to do it and it’s not going to be her.

 

Anyways, Elyon probably still fights with a shield just because he’s old.

  


* * *

 

 

“Why’d you cross it out??”

 

“You promised Elyon a cameo, not an insult!”

 

“Well, it’s true! Isn’t it? Besides, all Elyon did when I promised him a cameo was make a face at me and then go back to work. He’s not even going to have us read it to him.”

 

“I guess not..? Alright, alright, don’t kick me! Where were we?”

  


* * *

 

 

_Editor’s Note: There was probably some more conversation here, or at least there should have been, but the author insisted that we “get straight to the bicep action” and that “she isn’t putting this in Rikke’s pigeonhole just to have her read through pages of talking.” Fill in the blanks, maybe?_

 

“Ev, I’m going to need you to rechart the course.”

 

Ev, her flammable navigator, glances up and furrows what’s left of his brows, the way he always does, because he’s Ev. “What? Why? What’s wrong with the course we’re on right now..?”

 

“See, Pandaria is exciting and all, but…” Daniyah pauses, for dramatic effect, and then sets her jaw. “Biceps ahead.”

 

“So you mean that the king’s ship is ahead of us, and you want to turn around and head straight for it?” He doesn’t look surprised, which she might have been offended by, if she had time and if there wasn’t a more pressing matter at hand.

 

“Not straight for it! Who do you take me for? We need to head near it, almost straight for it, but not quite? Ev, wait, which direction d’you think is less obvious, veering slightly to the right, or a bit to the left?”

 

“I think she already knows that you’re heading right for her, since you’ve already turned completely around..?”

  


* * *

 

 

“Ev, we can’t keep this!”

 

Daniyah slams the journal shut, and then wiggles the pen out of his hand before flipping the journal back open to the page they were just on. She’s learned to keep one finger still on the page, even when she closes the journal, because otherwise she’ll lose her page and she doesn’t particularly want to flip through his journal to find it.

 

Ev’s journal is a bit like a game of Draenic Roulette; she’s never sure if she’s going to open it up to an innocuous page on herbs and their uses, or Thael’Kas fanfiction. She does her best to avoid playing.

 

“Why not?” He grabs for his journal, and she lifts it high above her head, which -- damn it. That’s hardly reaching up for him. She forgot the vertically challenged bit, for a moment. “That’s verbatim of what you said to me yesterday, except about walking in her direction.”

 

“But that’s _confidential!_ Behind the scenes! It’s nothing that Rikke ever needs to know!” Daniyah reaches over to boop his nose, but reprimandingly, now. Disciplinary. He isn’t meant to derive any joy from it. “Besides, you’re making it sound as if I -- you know!”

 

“That you like her..?” Ev wrinkles his nose at her scowl, and she waves her hands about in explanation. He just tilts his head, quizzically, and she heaves another great sigh before tossing his journal back over and then placing her wrist against her forehead and leaning back as if she’s about to faint.

 

“That atrocity of a question doesn’t even deserve a response! That is a _baseless_ accusation, Everett! I am shocked and offended!”

 

“But--”

 

“No buts!”

 

“Alright, fine, we can cross it out, if you really want? D’you want to just skip right to the naval battle?” He fiddles with his pen, and then stops to fix his sleeves -- rolled, the way Dan taught him -- before he tears out the page and crumples it up. The draft disappears into his pocket.

 

“Ev, you’ve got to burn it.”

 

“Well -- that’s a bit extreme, I think..? Maybe? I mean, Dani, it’s not as if I’m going to give it to her!”

 

Daniyah swings back up into a sitting position, and takes him by the collar before, in her gravest voice, saying, “If you don’t burn it, then I will burn it and you with it. I’m completely serious.”

 

Ev makes a face, and then just grins, and squirms out of her grasp. “Okay, sorry, I’ll try again? No serious revealing plotlines, just biceps and swooning and lots of flexing.”

 

She nods, and then settles back down next to him, leaning over his shoulder as he begins to write.

 

* * *

 

  


Captain Daniyah and the Greatest Naval Battle of All Time 

 

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful runaway noble named Daniyah Sadik, who had great hair, and wore a lot of green, and is not inspired by the Daniyah reading over my shoulder, because any similarities of these characters to any person living or dead is purely coincidental and not intended by the authors.

Anyways, this beautiful runaway noble named Daniyah Sadik decided that, just to spite everyone, she would become a pirate captain, because so there. She found herself a ship, which she promptly named _The Flouncy Flamingo,_ because she’s a real-life pirate who does what she wants, and then a crew. Daniyah was the captain, Zuri the quartermaster, Ev the navigator, Elyon the doctor, Mikey the cabin boy, Ben the carpenter, and then there was Scarlett who just mended the sails and hit things with swords. They went on a lot of adventures and found lots of treasure and did Pirate Things.

 

But this made King Wrynn mad, because he didn’t like these pirates taking so many valuables and sinking other ships. So he sent Sergeant Captain Rikke Hearthfire after them, with hopes of finally bringing Captain Daniyah to justice.

 

And, see, Captain Rikke Hearthfire was really the best of the best. She was smart and brave and could probably wipe the floor with Daniyah’s whole crew, including Zuri, maybe. She also had the greatest biceps in the history of ever, but not quite as good as Thael’Kas biceps.

 

So they chased each other all across the globe, through every ocean and every sea. And maybe even a few lakes. But finally, at long last, their ships ran straight into each other, and it was time to man the cannons and do swashbuckling things and, hopefully, not die.

 

Rikke’s crew was tough, and her first mate kept thwacking people with a prayerbook, but then he and Elyon got distracted discussing religious philosophy so Daniyah didn’t have to worry about either of them anymore. Rikke had a sword, and also somehow magically the sleeves of her uniform disappeared and her biceps rippled, a lot.

 

“So, Captain Hearthfire,” Daniyah said, with her hair flowing dramatically in the wind and the sword she was holding for dramatic effect swishing in an even more dramatic stabby thing, “you _found_ me.”

 

“Yes,” Rikke said, and lowered her sword. “Well, you’re under arrest for--”

 

“Sink _this!”_

 

* * *

 

“So?”

 

Daniyah finally looks up from the page she’s been reading, and she beams, and wipes away an imaginary tear. “This is _perfect_. I know precisely how it should end, too.”

 

“Really? How?” Ev shifts, when Daniyah rolls again -- couches are made for rolling around, and Everetts are made for sprawling across, and they make an excellent combination. “Who’s going to win the battle?”

“Nobody,” she says, and her smile just broadens. “Except for us, when we get it to Rikke. Anonymously, of course. But not too anonymously -- should I spray some perfume on it? No, that’s too obvious! I don’t want to come on too strong.”

 

“Maybe it’s already a little strong? I mean, we did just write pirate fanfiction about the two of you to give to her.” Ev taps her nose, and she snorts. Gracefully.

 

“Well, maybe, but I’m certain that she’ll love it. Or hate it, more likely but -- come on.” She leaps up. We need to go.”

 

“Wait, where?” Ev quickly follows suit, trailing behind her as she bounds toward the door, journal still in hand. She pauses only to turn back, bouncing up onto her toes, and then flash him another grin.

 

“To put it in her pigeonhole! I’ve got some ribbon we can tie it with. No, I’m sure she isn’t going to hate this, she’s going to _love_ it.”

 

Which is, of course, about as fictional a story as the one in her hands, but maybe it’ll make Rikke do her disapproving mouth twitch thing.

 

Daniyah likes that mouth twitch thing.


End file.
